sew many distractions

I had to step away from my blog for the past several weeks.  Based on the name of the blog, it would be easy to assume that I got distracted.

It was more than that.  It took me several weeks to realize the real reason.

I really needed to focus on self-care.  I only realized that I needed that so much a little over a 3 weeks ago.  

There is a situation that I have been trying to make a difference in for years.  I had not realized how badly it was impacting me until a bit over 3 weeks ago.  I guess the situation really peaked the week before.

Shortly after the situation peaked, I had the opportunity to talk with someone older and wiser who has dealt with the same situation.  That person helped me realize that the reason the situation does not get better is NOT because I’m not doing enough.  It’s NOT because I am not enough.  The same problems existed long before I entered the picture.

That was a turning point for me.  It was a huge weight lifted.  It felt so freeing.  It helped me accept some other unrelated situations that had similar outcomes.  

It helped me realize the value of boundaries and accepting what I can and cannot change.  

It renewed my energy to deal with things I can change.

It also opened my opened my eyes to other areas of my life that I was neglecting.  Why did I neglect them?  I don’t know.

I think the most likely reason is that the situation I have been trying to make better just drained the energy out of me.  I don’t know.  

What I do know is that talking with someone who’s “been there, done that” was extremely beneficial for me.

Interestingly enough, the weekend before I talked to my older, wiser, more experienced friend, I had watched the movie When Love Is Not Enough: The Lois Wilson Story.  It is about Lois Wilson, one of the co-founders of Al-Anon, and her husband who was a co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous.  For me, it was a fascinating movie due to the subject matter.  In high school I had a friend whose parents were active in Alcoholics Anonymous.  He went to Alateen meetings.  Looking back, I wish I’d had a better grasp of with what he and his family were dealing.  I guess many of us have situations from our youth about which we can say the same..

Substance abuse by me or my spouse is not the situation that I am dealing with and that I have been trying to improve.  Thankfully, my situation is not nearly as serious.  Even though my situation not nearly as serious as that of the characters in the movie, it was a huge relief to talk to someone that has been through the same thing.  

If there is something you are struggling with, I encourage you to talk to someone that has been through something very similar.  And to consider addressing some self-care issues if there is anything you’ve been neglecting or feeling you didn’t deserve.  You’re worth it.